Fear and I are good friends. She is the friend who holds me back from doing the things I long to do, from being the person I long to be. Yet I know in truth that she's there only trying to keep me safe. Sometimes she convinces me to run in the other direction. Sometimes I'm able to look her in the eye, thank her for her concern, and move forward anyway. In some ways the running is easier, but in other ways the running just takes me further from myself.
The following are two pieces of writing that come to me as I sat in one form of fear or another. My wish is that if fear is your friend, you may find solace in knowing that you are not alone.
Fear is a large stone that she holds. Heavy in her lap. Cold. Sadness swirls inside. It’s so heavy, she doesn’t know how to remove it. So she sits. Unable to move.
She sighs and begins to caress the stone. Holding it close. Welcoming it. Showing her appreciation.
“We are safe her together.”
“How strong you are”
“So beautiful in your coldness”
She continues. Over and over. Caressing. Soothing. Cooing. Loving.
The rock begins to smooth. It begins to shine. And it warms.
“Look, over there”, she says
“We are missing the sunset”
The rock, now round and smooth is easy to topple forward and roll off her lap. She does so. Stands. Stretches. Wandering forward to the edge of the cliff.
The world is still. Awaiting the moment the sun kisses the horizon on its way down. Vibrant colors reach across the sky. Red, orange, yellow, purple. Gorgeous.
She smiles, turns away to walk back to the stone. She reaches to pick it up, but it will not budge. She places a hand on it. Feeling it’s smoothness.
“Thank you,” she says. “For getting me here. “
And she walks away. The reflection of her retreating image mirrored in the stone.
What if there was no fear?
No fear of what could happen. Only acceptance and enjoyment of what is happening.
No fear of rejection or disappointing. Only deep love of herself and the strength to stand against resistance.
No fear of loss. Only presence and deep connection to the moments she has now.
No fear of failure. Only a knowing of the growth that happens in all scenarios.
No fear of the unknown. Only curiosity for the knowledge that will come after uncertainty.
No fear of her power. Instead a confidence that shines like the sun and burns like the purest fire.
Do you find yourself walking with fear? How does it show up for you? How does it feels? Can you see how it may be trying to keep you safe? What helps you move through it back into action?